Knitting, why have you forsaken me?!

I should have known. Or more correctly, I knew. I knew the socks seemed a little big; they were a little loose when I tried them on. Wasn't too worried about it; mother assured me she didn't care.

I plugged along, finished the foot as per the instructions (1 inch shorter than foot length). Plowed through the heels (which are Double Stitch Short Row heels).

Y'all...they are ENORMOUS. Things went terribly, terribly wrong.

I checked my gauge when I first noticed the bigness, and thought I was getting 8.5-9 stitches per inch. Online calculators informed me that my stitch count (64) was right on for that gauge. But...I KNEW.

Having re-checked it (since I now have the world's largest sock swatch), I seem to be getting 7 stitches per inch! I don't know if things are stretching or I'm blind, or both.

At any rate, I have to RIP OUT THE ENTIRE THING AND START OVER.

Lessons learned:

1. Listen to your knitting common sense FOR GOD'S SAKE.
2. Quadruple check your gauge.

I'm digging my favorite trusty sock book out of storage as well, since it never steered me wrong before. Oh, and a size 1 circular (I'm pretty sure I have one somewhere).

ARGH. *insert sounds of my hysterical weeping here as I mournfully update my Ravelry page*

In other news, I guess this means I'll be able to snug up and perfect the heels the next time around.